Gambling is so large a subject that one has to despise it in chunks. I’ll probably tackle poker and casinos later, but for now its ‘Gambling in General’.

What’s wrong with gambling? I’ll tell you what, the people who run ‘gambling’ are all morally bankrupt and the people who gamble are all cretins.

What’s that you say, you want me to be more specific? OK, I’ll do my best.

Lets deal with the ’stoopidity’ bit first.

Whether it is down to stupidity or just the result of a general lack of education, gambling is stupid.

Even if you have an excuse for ’starting’ (eg. I never went to school), it’s impossible to have an acceptable excuse for continued gambling.
Its just a matter of statistics.

Lets take the least biased of the casino ‘games’ as an example, ‘roulette’. Look at the roulette wheel - see those little holes that the ball can land in? see those numbers? They start at zero and go all the way up to 36. That is 37 numbers, one of which you cannot bet on and which causes all bets to go to the house. That means the wheel is biased in their favour. If you bet on ‘red’, for example, there are 18 ways you can win and 19 ways you can lose.

If you based your pension investment on these odds, everyone would think you were mad, right?

Obvious, then, gamblers are stupid.

Oh, I hear someone at the back saying ‘its an addiction’, its not their fault.  Yeah, yeah, it’s an addiction. One based on stupidity. I never met an gambling addict yet that didn’t also make a load of other bad life decisions. Stupid wig, ‘dick extension’ car he can’t afford, beta max video etc.

So, what about those nice people who run gambling?

Well, we will leave the Mormons for another rant - they are far too nice a target to waste with an aside. That leaves just the ‘normal’ morally bankrupt. In short, even the least offensive of them are using statistics to take money from idiots and fools. They have analysts and statisticians who specialise in making sure that they don’t miss an opportunity to separate the fool from his wealth. Whilst technically legal, its not much better morally than the heroin pushers who sell cheap or give free samples in order to start the addict on the path to addiction.

Scum of the earth.

Its easy to despise horse racing - I mean, where do you start? The only thing its got going for it is that it provides employment for midgets in pyjamas.

But lets look at the bad bits of Horse Racing.

1. It clogs up my TV sports channel.
2. The horses get injured and get shot (they never shoot the jockey’s when they get hurt, right?)
3. Rich people only, please.
4. Horse racing encourages betting (future rant coming on that one), which targets stoopid poor people and makes them poorer.
5. Its boring - really. If you don’t think so, you are a congenital idiot.
6. The horses don’t want to do it.

Now some horse racing fans have a problem with that last one. “Yes they do” they say. Ok, then Mr and Mrs HorseFace, if they really want to do it, why do they need a bloke with a whip on their backs? And when one of the horses manages to dump the jockey, it then goes round the fences if it can - not over them. Explain that them. Go on, I ‘m waiting. Thought not.

Now, if they really wanted to make it interesting to watch. make those little sods do it without the horses.

The sight of a 4ft 6 bloke in pyjamas trying to clamber over a 6 ft fence whilst trying to fend off similarly clad midgets with whips would be far more enternaining.

Golf - it’s a sport, right?

How does that work, then?

A Bunch of middle aged elitist fat blokes strolling round a field.

They call it a sport but lack the energy to carry their bloody golf bags round.

Lazy Fucks - in my opinion they should be forced to carry their own clubs and get strokes deducted for time taken - make the fuckers run round the course , then it would be a sport, until then its a bunch of fat blokes going for a stroll.

If golf is a sport, then so is ‘getting fat’.

And… why the fuck do they put it on TV - bizarre.

You see a bloke hit a small white speck, then the cameras show a picture of some clouds for a while followed by a white spec rolling on the grass. Whoopee, how do you follow that for excitement.