So, getting near that time when my other half insists that we go on vacation and starts sending me links on what she considers to be ’suitable’ destinations.

Algarve villas are supposed to excite me, apparently, despite the fact that they all look the bloody same and also never look quite like that when you get there.

This year she seems to have set her mind on a Vale Do Lobo villa vacation. All I can say is ’same old, same old’.

I hate the planning of the vacation, I hate the bloody airport fiasco, I hate the bloody passengers on the plane, particularly the stupid couple who insist on bringing a 3 month old baby with them that screams the whole bloody journey.

It gets worse when get there.

I despise the whole bloody tourist crap - thousands of shops selling stupid bloody hats, sunglasses and cheap leather goods that smell funny when you get them home.

However, I don’t despise the actual countries I visit - the only reason I allow myself to be dragged through the experience is for that one or two days when I can get away from the other tourists and go visit somewhere ‘real’ with ‘real’ local people and food.

Wish me luck